February 2nd, 2009

I inherited my cat from a super model


About 10 years ago I had a friend whp had started dating a supermodel (Helena Christensen). They got pregnant and had to go to Denmark to have the baby; I guess that's where she comes from. Somehow I ended up taking care of their cat. They told me to pick him up in some house in Beachwood Canyon. I go up there, and the house is completely empty, except for the cat, a litter box and a pile of bad art leaning up against the wall. Craziest thing I've ever seen. This was a nice house, bigger than the one I share with my family. Apparently, the house was rented for the cat and Helena's manager would come up occasionally and feed him. I took the cat home, and after about a year when I didn't hear from his owners, I changed his name to Pablo. It used to be #5, guess that was a reference to Chanel. He is totally a member of the family now, my little girl loves him. We haven't heard from my friend or the supermodel in years; last I heard they had broken up and went their separate ways.

A few years ago we bought a new couch for our house. It was a big, forest green sort of thing and was not bad looking. Pablo doesn't go outside at all (supposedly cats live longer if they stay inside); anyways, Pablo doesn't get to work out his frustrations on field mice or whatever is lying around outside, so his primary outlet is the couch. Within a few months the couch looked like hell, so my wife got these nice slip covers for it. It looks much better now. Really clean and adult looking.


Every once in awhile you need to wash the slip covers, and they won't fit in our washer and dryer at home. Our little girl had dumped milk all over the couch, so I took them to the laundromat in Los Feliz (the one across the street from Trader Joes), and I ran into my friend. This friend is always looking for love. He's a really great guy, smart, funny as hell, talented, not bad looking. He has been through a few different relationships in the time that I've known him, but they never turned out the way that he had hoped. If you want to know why he is still looking, you'll have to ask him. So anyways, we're standing around the laundromat and started chatting and he told me that he was about to break up with his girlfriend. He said that it was over, and it had been over for awhile; that they were just propping it up like weekend at Bernies. I loved that analogy.

After my laundry was done, i went home and ended up writing a song that was inspired by our conversation. I used a little artistic license in the lyrics, I really doubt my friend dreams of suicide, puppy dogs and pretty girls. But I think I was in the ballpark. I recorded the song in about an hour, and emailed it to him. He ended up not breaking up with the girl after all. Whatever, his life; and I got a song out of it.

I did most of the song on a couple of Casio's that I have laying around my house. Since then I haven't really used my Casios as I found some good sound fonts that basically do the same thing. I usually get sound fonts at
They are free, and all you have to do is sign up. They won't send you any Spam. To play sound fonts in Garageband, you need to get a player. Go to the sound font site I mentioned, get some sound fonts you like, and put them in a folder somewhere on your computer. Then open up your sound font player, and it will look for the sound fonts and play them. Try this one, it's free:
If you have Logic, the EXS24 will play any sound font you might have. If you have a different recording set-up, I have no idea. Try here:


So in the end, my friend wound up breaking up with that girl. Awhile later he started dating another girl but once he figured out that she was his girlfriend, they broke up. He said that he was doing a breakup playlist, but he didn't have the song I wrote for him anymore. Lost it when he got a new computer. I told him I would upload the song for him so here it is:

It Feels Wrong - Mount St. Helen